Brother to Brother
As fathers, in this era, we are told much about how to raise our boys.
‘Don’t be rough’—Debunked
‘Don’t expect much from children’—Debunked
Let’s talk about this and how it’s critical to a boy’s development.
We all know, from experience, that our boys will be pushed to wait for approval.
If they are in public school, this is even more true, and fathers are perfect for recalibrating these systems and cultures.
Fathers have something the schools, society, and the government doesn’t have.
The inherent, God-given, desire for boys to be like their dads.
We do not need to wait for approval of anyone to train our sons to be better men than us.
A quick tangent, before I get into the meat and potatoes of our conversation.
If your son sees you waiting for approval, that’s what he will do.
He will develop and cultivate that skill in ways you never saw coming.
He will delay obedience because it’s easier than struggling.
He will squirm under the weight of accountability.
Telling the truth will only happen when it is easier than lying.
Think about it, how can our topic exist within that philosophy?
Don’t wait to be liked by everyone around you.
Act with conviction and light a fire in your son’s chest!
Make him want to be brave in everything he does.
This means you cannot be anything but the best image of yourself that you can muster.
It won’t be easy, popular, nor will it be widely accepted.
But here’s the truth, it has to be righteous, and that’s enough.
“To do righteousness and justice is preferred by the Lord more than sacrifice.”—Proverbs 21:3
Battle Tested Plan
Not many years ago my household was led by me, but not like it is today.
I was a Norse pagan, and so was my son.
A father’s direction becomes his son’s, after all.
The majesty of how God was using me, a nonbeliever, to spread His message took me by surprise.
My faith was shaken because I couldn’t deny God gave me the purpose I was fulfilling.
After the questions, I received answers, and I began my walk with Christ.
Then, I had to tell my son.
I was concerned he wouldn’t follow.
I was worried he would view me as a traitor.
I saw the possibility of all our progress being washed away.
On a regularly practiced walk I utilized moral strength to withstand a fear to bring it up.
It may seem silly to you, and that’s fine, but for me it was anything but silly.
It started many conversations between a boy seeing his path to manhood, and a father wanting the privilege of being his guide.
I showed him that, even though it was difficult to muster the courage, a man does it anyway.
Because I brought it up to him, there was no grey area on courage here.
You either have it, or you don’t.
I am sure there will be those that say things like:
That’s too intense
Ease up. It’s not that serious
Let kids be kids, or something like that
They are wrong, and a father following God has all the permission needed to do what’s right.
“Kids will be kids” raises adults that are still children.
Hardships prepare us for the difficulties inevitable to existing.
There is nothing more serious a father can do than intentionally raise his son to be a man.
Your courage to hold the line when it’s not popular, or tell the truth despite the obvious inconveniences, teaches your son to act on principles over popularity.
And that will make him a better leader than most of the men we know.
Onward Towards Success
Don’t ask questions like, “Is everyone on board with this decision?”
If it’s righteous, you do it.
If we wait for universal agreement on how to raise boys to be men, well gentlemen, we will likely have died of old age first.
Waiting around for everyone to agree on the choices we make is not leadership, it’s cowardice in disguise.
I expect you know what’s right and wrong.
If you don’t, I highly recommend the Bible and church.
A courageous father does what’s right, and that’s the end of that.
May God smile upon you today and tomorrow. May you look back on all your yesterdays and believe He always has.
Gratefully,
Brandon Moore
I’ve already paid the price for this wisdom... use it.
P.S. I’ll send your next email on the 15th.
Very thoughtful essay Brandon. I particularly like this part:
“Your courage to hold the line when it’s not popular, or tell the truth despite the obvious inconveniences, teaches your son to act on principles over popularity.
And that will make him a better leader than most of the men we know.”