Lacking a Code Makes You a Threat

To everyone around you, including your loved ones.

Brother to Brother

Why do we loathe the hypocrite?

Our children possess an uncanny ability to filter out hypocrisy, especially from their parents.

Travel with me for a moment, down the path of exploration into this thought.

Perhaps somewhere deep down innate wisdom whispers to them.

Maybe it tells them, “we cannot trust the words of a person, especially a man, that says one thing and does another.”

Is there not a grain of truth to this?

And, is there not also a certain amount of damage we, as parents, can do with our hypocrisy?

As fathers, we are responsible for setting certain expectations.

A quick search on topics like, “Statistics of fatherlessness,” will reveal many haunting facts.

It seems, to me, we fathers need to accept and embrace that we are important to our families.

While I do acknowledge a husband has obligations to his wife, just as he also has many responsibilities concerning his daughters, I primarily focus on the father-son dynamic.

It’s what I am passionate about, and what I am strongly compelled to help other fathers foster.

I, myself, realized nearly too late the importance of this dynamic and how it prevents strife between father and son.

I had to learn that a man who answers to nothing, would do anything.

“Absolute power corrupts absolutely,” sort of thing.

Except, for the overwhelming majority of men it results in self-destructive behaviors.

And, while many readers may argue the age-old foolishness that he is solely responsible for himself, so what’s the problem?…

That fallacy has no place in the heart, mind, or soul of a father.

Let the lone wolf have that mentality.

While he comes around through the long and scenic route only to realize too late he missed out on truly wonderful adventures.

I would have any brother of mine strive towards a refined life.

Without this refinement (or code of ethics) to strive towards, talents become perverted into something contradictory to the ideals they’re supposed to defend against it.

Think about it, don’t just take my word for it.

“Strength” becomes cruelty.

“Charisma” twists into manipulation.

“Leadership” becomes domination.

So, what are we to do then?

If everywhere we go things are being corrupted to our disadvantage, we anchor ourselves to ideals that are reliably constant.

The kind America was founded on.

The same kind that were once looked to for inspiration, when the world went dark with war many of us cannot imagine.

We anchor ourselves because we possess the ability, as well as the motivation.

We do this so that our sons will stand tall in face of tyranny instead of cowering underneath the weight of inaction.

Battle Tested Plan

When you catch yourself next giving your son advice, stop a moment and ask yourself if you are an example of success in this regard.

If you aren’t, and you know you aren’t, ask your son if he thinks you are.

If he says, “yes, you are,” explain to him all the ways you have failed to do so.

It will catch him off guard and he will be forced to see you in a new perspective.

He will see that you are holding yourself to a higher standard than he was.

This can be used to bolster his confidence in you even further, if you dare to ask his help in being better moving forward.

Let that new conviction create the clarity he needs.

He will struggle in life, therefore, he needs to know how to do it, and you’re the man for the job.

Show him your rules aren’t about control over him, but a living form of discipline so that he can dare to be better than you.

Never forget that sons want to outperform their fathers in every way they find admirable.

Find out what he thinks is admirable about you. 

Then show him how to be even better than you.

This is how the metaphorical torch can be carried on for generations.

It compounds into a sort of wealth.

If you follow The Dynastus Letters by Ben Black for any length of time, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

He does an excellent job of diving into legacy building.

Specifically how a man must do this consistently to build a foundation his children can build the future on.

Onward Towards Success

Recognize when you are being ruled by your whims.

Once this is done, you can begin setting better habits.

Challenge yourself!

Find the truth to your motives!

Is it commonly some perceived injustice rather than an actual injustice?

This was the case for me and my temper, which always seemed to get the best of me.

One day I noticed my family was afraid of me.

I had never hit them when angry, nor would I… but how did they know that?

I would stop mid rage and begin questioning myself.

I practiced stoicism in earnest in those painful moments.

I’d rather wrestle myself, and my insecurities, than look at their fearful faces.

A truth from an old book came to me and I pondered it hard in those moments of self-anguish.

“A man must accept at the end of his day, he either completed the tasks or he did not.”

My strategy and challenge to you is to determine what your excuses are for the incomplete tasks, and to have the honor required to admit when you failed because you did not want it completed enough.

If it is found to be important enough still, prioritize appropriately so that you will not suffer two days of failure back-to-back.

This will lead to honor and respect from those looking to you for leadership—namely your sons’.

May God smile upon you today and tomorrow. May you look back on all your yesterdays and believe He always has.

Gratefully,
Brandon Moore

I’ve already paid the price for this wisdom... use it.

P.S. I’ll send your next email on the 1st.

I’m supposed to say something witty right here that convinces you click a link to my book on Amazon. I never liked that idea and have struggled to do it correctly since this self-promotion journey began. So instead, if you want to support this work, share this with someone that needs it, or purchase “Fathering the Boy” by Brandon Moore on Amazon. I would appreciate the support in spreading the message.