Are You Truly Irreplaceable?

To everyone around you, including your loved ones.

Brother to Brother

The better question is “Would people try to replace you?”

The factual perspective is that you, an entirely unique individual, by definition cannot be replaced, ever. Period.

The psychological perspective is much more fascinating because it can inspire growth, depression, or even both.

So, the real question is would people around you try to replace you?

Your employer absolutely would make the attempt, but that’s literally the nature of the beast with employment.

You weren’t there for anything more than a means to an end, yourself, either.

That isn’t intended to be a slight toward your character.

It is an attempt to point out there is not always malicious intent when an employer replaces an employee.

It’s the nature of that beast and a far less stimulating conversation topic.

Would your family attempt to replace you?

This question also lacks some honesty.

If you die they likely have no choice in trying.

So, again, we need to push past the easy questions until we arrive at one that elicits a reaction.

“Is your family planning to replace you right now?”

Now, there is a question worthy of exploration.

If you don’t even try to bear the weight of responsibility, they might be.

If your actions force your son to start looking elsewhere for the definition of manhood, he might be.

You want to wrap yourself in the comfort blanket of being irreplaceable because that’s the truth.

There is no one that can replace what you represent for your family.

That doesn’t mean they won’t try, because ultimately if you aren’t trying…why would they?

Battle Tested Plan

We all know far too many fathers that are physically present, and yet are coincidentally missing in other areas of importance.

Sure, they do occupy the home, but are absent for any struggles the wife or son has.

It’s leadership without presence and it results in failure.

Not only does it fail here, but it also fails the son, because he learns from his father’s behavior “this is what a man does and is.”

It is decidedly not what a man is and it is dangerous to allow such a perspective to persist.

A man has many tools at his disposal, namely responsibility.

It is standing where others have folded, because it is the proper thing to do.

It is being where you are needed even at the expense of your personal pleasures and leisure.

It is what will turn your proximity into a powerful force.

Do a self-evaluation: write down 5 ways your father failed you.

If you find this too difficult, stressful, or even impossible, submit yourself to the people most likely to know you better than you know yourself.

Ask your family in what ways you have been a failure as of late.

Or, a more gentle approach, what ways could you grow as a provider of stability and security.

Onward Towards Success

For the readers nodding in agreement that have already been through the fires and come out successful on the other side, well done, gentleman!

I salute you and congratulate you on your efforts.

For my brothers out there preparing to move forward with these trials, the men that have recognized they haven’t been the best example of responsibility to their family, read on.

There have been countless homes where an absence was felt and recovered.

My own is certainly one of them.

The fact that a family has conquered something together is one of the chief reasons they succeed together in the long run.

It is going to be tough.

It is going to feel unnecessarily heavy to pick up the weight you have been ignoring.

It will take time to adjust your body, and soul, to this responsibility.

And then you will discover there is always more to do.

There is never going to be enough responsibility taken.

Perhaps this is why God, being the all-knowing Father that He is, gave us sons to train.

They are eager to help carry the weight, and we should let them.

Under careful supervision we should stack on their shoulders as much weight as they are eager to take, and then add just a little more to it.

So they know precisely what it means to carry it when they start their own family.

Furthermore, so they will understand exactly why they need to teach their sons to do it.

It will mean a delicate balance of maintaining his respect while you carry burdens together.

Do not believe you can train legacy mindedness by forcefully educating him in obedience.

It will not prove profitable… this I know too well.

May God smile upon you today and tomorrow. May you look back on all your yesterdays and believe He always has.

Gratefully,
Brandon Moore

I’ve already paid the price for this wisdom... use it.

P.S. I’ll send your next email on the 15th.

I’m supposed to say something witty right here that convinces you click a link to my book on Amazon. I never liked that idea and have struggled to do it correctly since this self-promotion journey began. So instead, if you want to support this work, share this with someone that needs it, or purchase “Fathering the Boy” by Brandon Moore on Amazon. I would appreciate the support in spreading the message.